Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
