phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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