Whod you bang
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
birth control should be required to get into college
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
