Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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