I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
