Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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