1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
