I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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