3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
