I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm both gender and math confused
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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