It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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