Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
