just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
