he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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