you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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