I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
