Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
