three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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