i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
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out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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