obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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