do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
