Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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