i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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