Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
well you can't waste a boner
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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