At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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