I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
