I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
