Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
