You really coming over, don't trick.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
