I bet he comes in French.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
