ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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