My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
