i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think I won the penis lottery.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The air was thick with penises
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
