Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He passed out mid-signature
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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