I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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