K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
