i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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