i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize