Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
