There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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