you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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