What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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