those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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