check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
