Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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