We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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