I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
