great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Randomize
