Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
