We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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