are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
