so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
