so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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