Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Who died my cat blue again?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize