I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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