I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
