I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
