eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
