What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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