Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
