Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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