matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She needs sedatives and a leash
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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