Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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