You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
