Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
