This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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