I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize