Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
