Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
